First revision

It all started just after my birthday, another year another pound or two added, sigh. We all know what that means a renewal of the effort to run three or four days a week. Fall rolled around and those runs just weren’t doing it. I’d get bored and skip the run or walk instead. The desired effect not achieved I feel into a lull, why bother if it isn’t working. By the holidays I was feeling like the turkey, that was it time for a new direction. I decided to try a triathlon, my husband was already pursuing several a year, why not me. Well let’s see, I am not comfortable in the water without a tank and regulator, biking hmmm I used to do that and running well I do o-k. January marked the beginning of training, pool sessions twice a week and riding the trainer twice a week until I could get outside. Things were going pretty smoothly until it was time to take the swim outdoors.


The sun glistened on the gentle wrinkles of the lake; the cool water enveloped me as I walked in. The visibility of the shallows was deceivingly inviting, as I began to swim out. As the bottom sloped away so did the clarity, blurry at first. A few strokes later the visibility cuts to a foot, two at best. I feel my chest start to tighten as if someone is pulling the cords of a corset. I can’t breathe; a wave of panic takes hold. Pop your head-up find the shore I tell myself, calm down it will be o-k. I relax a little, my lungs loosen. Concentrate now; stroke- stroke breathe, stroke- stroke breathe. Just keep going don’t worry about speed, half way there now I tell myself. Just keep it up, stroke stroke breath the mantra repeating in my head. There is the dock, just keep going. Now I can see the bottom again, here come the shallows, just a bit further. Two more strokes stand up and I’m back ,deep breath.

A second try, can’t give up so here we go again. Suit Zipped, swim cap on, take a deep breath. Trying to psych up, telling myself Imagine gliding across the water four strokes and a breath just like the pool. Waist deep and I can still see the bottom, so far so good. Where did the sun go? Looking at the cloud, addressing it like it might actually listen “No you can’t rain on me.” For the moment it listens. Ready or not here I go, the object to cross the small lake to the beach and back, just a little further than race distance. Two cycles and the bottom is getting harder to see, five cycles visibility has dropped off to just a couple of feet. O-k , just focus on the breathing. Suddenly something has grabbed my foot, it lets go as I continue to swim. Looking down the lake weed can be made out, stretching out to grab any unsuspecting passerby. My hands glide through a small up growth ewww they are slimy, just keep swimming. Popping my head up the beach doesn’t seem any closer. Pushing myself on, the wind picks up enough to create small waves. Slowly progressing toward the beach, time seems to stand still. Finally time to turn around. The wind kicks up more, I feel like a cork bobbing up and down to the rhythm of the waves. Every few strokes my arm hits the top of a wave, and I get a mouth full of water, good training for the ocean I remind myself, you have to keep going. Head pops up to check my location, how did I get out here? Instead of going straight I curved with the waves, great, adjust and head for the dock. Wait where is the dock? IS that the right one? All stop, I tread water long enough to locate the dock, reassure myself that yes this is the right one, and start up again. Again the mantra stoke-stoke breath, stroke-stroke breath. Back on dry land, and wondering what did I get myself into?

Race Day is here and so is all of the anxiety of the last few weeks.

  ****I will finish the ending on Sunday after the race, wish me luck.